Post from February 15th 2015 :
All characters appearing on this page is fictitious, purely & truly to the length, height and breadth of my imagination. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental or accidentally true or intentionally made
I could never understand the concept of arranged marriage. Guys, note the point, I am never against it!!! But it makes me think…
Exposed to a whole load of unknown Mama, mami, bua, chacha, chachi, cousins – extended and over extended family. Sitting in the middle of a crowd with every pair of eyes scanning you, if your one ear is slightly smaller than other; if your eyes are of the same size; if you have hearing problem; if your smile is proper; if you have got limps; if you have a hunch and what not………… This is terrible, but can manage because people need to undergo this at some stage of life whether arranged or love.
I had made up my mind that I will be Daddy’s sweet daughter when it comes to marriage. All these years my parents has given me full freedom to do all what I want; to be myself; to explore the world the way I dreamt. There was another reason – tomorrow if something goes wrong, I always have someone to point my finger on the whole drama
But there was one demand – I need a guy with good personality. And how do you judge the personality of the guy in an arranged marriage??? Uff…. There is a way out – you need to have sufficient time before fixing the marriage. Once the marriage is fixed, I don’t mind even if I have to marry the very next day. I was very proud of my people reading skills which hardly goes wrong; so it is perfectly perfect – I can analyse how he is & den decide whether he is the one. I am indeed doing him a favor too – giving him an opportunity to decide for himself if he really wanted to put his head on the railway track. My plan so far is cool because nobody loses anything, in fact they get a better idea on the person and can decide.
My entire plan went into the biggest flop, when this guy Mr.XYZ came to see me……Preliminary rounds of interview & analysis went fine. Oh my plan was perfect till then; my parents supported me through the whole process (Remembering my sister’s counseling on how I shouldn’t screw this proposal like the previous ones) and they sticked to my demand…The initial phase of checking horoscope compatibility went great; First round of skype interview was ok leaving aside the occasional technical issue; second round of personal interview went cool; third round of Interview with the guy and cousins went good. Now there is my final round of interview. But Coincidentally his folks are abroad and my joys knew no bounds…I have sufficient time to know the guy till they return (Almost 2 months to know if I needed this or not – a rare luxury; wow!!!). All fine and perfect so far………….right? It is not now the plan was flopped……
The entire system fell off the track when I received a text from him :
“Have our parents spoke anything about our talking?” Fissshhhhh…………How will I know that……
I replied “I am not sure……..Why”
Immediately came the reply – “Before the decisions are made, I don’t think it is really healthy for us to talk” (What an Ideal Indian boy…………..Trying to recollect if his dad’s name was Harichandran…….No…no…it is some other name……). Why in the world would I need to know him once the marriage is fixed………when the damage is already done…………….
I wasn’t ready to give up – “Once a decision is made, do you think you can change it if you feel it is not the right one?”
“Once decided I will see to it that it works” (That was a greaaaat relief…….Ho…………..Somebody is ready to bear the risk about tolerating me all his life….wow). “Atleast something that everyone is comfortable I need to be sure on that” (That gave me surety on several other things :))
“Adjustments?!?” – That definitely came from me
“I am not talking about adjustments here, but I don’t want hopes to roam around” (Why do you let hopes to roam around, My man………Don’t men have any control over their feelings??? or did he mean – I am building hopes??? Oh Gosh…………I don’t fall into that category & when will you be aware of it???) Along came a very decent statement “I hope you understand what I am trying to tell”
“If u feel its creating hopes & stuff, I guess we should hold till the decision is made” (Generous me!!!)
“Thanks dae for understanding” (What a wonderful statement..aha)
The only thing I could reply was ” ” – A smile of relief………… This would be the beginning of our many arguments if I would be marrying him………….Somebody who is not bothered about the feelings of others; who doesn’t even make an effort to know……… A typical arranged marriage does go this way – without knowing, without understanding getting into a legal relation without making any sense of the whole process………………I pity me for having fallen into the same line as all others…….Long chats and phone calls after the marriage is fixed is an utter waste (Waste of time, money & EMOTIONS!!!) – Because couples live in fantasy after it is fixed and they live in reality once marriage is over……… Both are two extreme conditions connected by the same person.
Faith in Fate is the only thing that remains
There goes the saying “OPERATION SUCCESS, PATIENT DEAD!!!”
The current status of this incident after close to 2 years :
This guy is one among my close friend. You want to know how that happened. After months, my marriage was fixed with whom I found to be the most eligible bachelor 😉 It was then this guy Mr.XYZ texted me – “Hi,Hope you are doing good. I wanted to ask you something. Actually everybody is asking why you rejected the proposal?”. All I did was forward the link to the post. I kept thinking why was I so angry over the incident. It would probably be because I felt the person didn’t bother discussing or asking my opinion. I would never have any problem if he is said his thought and asked what I felt about the same. I would have probably agreed to it. I might have been over analytical on such a silly incident that made me took an important decision for life. But when I look back, It was great that I didn’t want to be doubtful over taking the most important decision in my life.
Why opt to compromise and pretend to be someone who you are not,rather be the person you are and enjoy being crazy with the one who loves it. Its not how long you live, its how much you live your life and how much you brought about the change for a better tomorrow.